I
Lost My Creativity to Addiction
When
addiction takes over, there is little time to discover talents and gifts that
can be used to create a more enriched life.
After
working for almost 24 years in hospitals I realized that our boozy culture is
costing us all.
Families,
on every rung of the economic ladder, continue to be devastated and torn apart
by addiction and alcoholism. We have a prolific problem of substance abuse in America
It
is impossible for adults and children to realize their gifts when they spend
the better part of their lives trying to survive, or preoccupied with pondering
when they can acquire the next cocktail. According to the Center for Disease
Control and Prevention (CDCP), the annual cost of lost productivity in the business world
due to alcohol is $249 billion! Yes, and that’s just in the business world.
That figure doesn’t take into account what is does to families, nor the lost
artistic brilliance that is never realized.
Too
many children in affluent, middle- and lower-income brackets, spend evenings
alone because their parent(s) prefer to enjoy cocktails rather than be present.
Other children end up shuffled from one foster home to the next because of
their parental substance abuse. This is the reality: adults and children too
depressed to function well, all because of alcohol abuse or misuse.
No
one worries about the clarinet lessons when Mom is more consumed with her wine,
and Dad may or may not be around. Too many of these children confide that they
are lonely, that no one talks or listens to them. They resort to finding any
sort of connection and many of them turn to online friendships that can be
further disastrous to their mental health.
Children
are admitted to hospitals because they feel suicidal, but after a few days many
start to crawl out of their shells—because these kids finally feel safe. They
have people around them who will listen to them. Far too often they want to
stay in the hospital more than they want to go home. They sketch amazing
pictures, the staff hears them sing, and we see them dance. So many have raw
talent that may never be realized all because moms and dads would rather party
than parent. Why are we immune to this tragedy?
The
same argument holds true for adults. Adults who spend copious amounts of time
sitting at bars, going to “girls night out,” drinking at the beauty salon, at
home, and maybe even in the walk-in closet surrounded by designer purses and
shoes—what are they missing?
When
something takes over your life, regardless of what that thing is, there is
little time to discover talents and gifts that can be used to create an
enriched life.
I
didn’t find my gift until I got sober in 1989. I can rattle off all sorts of
name of friends who had spent the better part of their lives chasing the “sweet
spot” with drugs or alcohol, only to later get sober. In due time they
discovered their God-given talents. Some turned to painting, sculpting,
writing, languages, jewelry making, woodcarving, and the list goes on. The
culture of “more Merlot please” is draining talent and brilliance right out of
the world. Why do we accept the drinking culture, and even encourage more
drinking?
Society
has bought into the notion that life is better with Merlot or Chardonnay, but
the truth is that if a person thinks they are a social drinker, but they are
drinking more than a few glasses of wine once or twice a week, their drinking
has already crossed the line and there is nothing social about it.
The
wine companies won’t tell you this, your doctor won’t tell you this, and your
friends won’t tell you this, but I will tell you because I know what it’s like.
I was once on both sides of that proverbial fence. A child of an alcoholic who
grew up to be an alcoholic. I was the kind of alcoholic who didn’t drink every
day. The kind of alcoholic who had no consequences with the law, no overt
penalties of any kind that would make me label myself an alcoholic. I wear the
label now because I when I was drinking, I couldn’t always predict if I would
have two drinks or seven drinks. I couldn’t always predict if I would show up
as a lady or a loudmouth. That right there is alcoholism in its early stages.
I
quit drinking long before it became necessary that I quit drinking. Knowing that
alcoholism doesn’t “look” like any one particular thing may help you better
appraise your own drinking, and reevaluate if you, too, are snuffing out your
talent in favor of staring at the bottom of a glass.
After
short stints where Lisa trained polo horses, worked as a flight attendant,
hairdresser, and bartender, she revamped her life and settled in as a
registered nurse. For the past 28 years, she has worked with hundreds of women
to overcome alcoholism, live better lives and become better parents. Raising
the Bottom is her fifth book. She was prompted to write Raising the Bottom when
she realized after 20+ years of working in hospitals, that doctors and
traditional health care offer few solutions to people with addiction issues.
The writer Teacher and Columnists
01611579267
dr.fourkanali@gmail.com
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